Hold the Waffles

The drink is truly a tasty little sucker and I can already envision the shaky-handed-hurried-gulping of a few days from now when I am addicted. The salt-water flush, on the other hand, made me throw-up in my mouth. Then I ate the throw-up that was already in my mouth. Does this make me a cheater?
About an hour later I licked an envelope. Does that make me a cheater?
Now I am starring at a glistening scone, little black currents all evenly placed as if by the hand of God. I am thinking of dropping out and entering a hot dog eating contest.